Falling through the looking glass.

So... I was stumbling... yes I do that... too often it seems. And I came across an article, it was about something I already gave up... but... the spoken words of it were enough to make me question the things in my life that are bogging me down. I need constant input, I find myself daily in front of my computer, or my TV, mindlessly playing games, watching movies, or stumbling. How many hours of my life have I wasted to this? How long have I been gaming, and ignoring the things around me? Too long, too many hours have been spent mindlessly doping myself up on the constant need to get to the next level, or see the next episode... I have yet to become the person I want to be... I'm almost 30 and I know more about what is happening to video game characters then my own fucking family.

So as of today, I quit. I quit gaming, I quit mindlessly watching show after show of nothing, I quit stumbling or seeking escape in memes and trolls. Now this doesn't mean I'm stopping everything. I'm not. I currently am going to spend 3 hours a week watching television, there are shows I enjoy, that I actually want to watch, but that is at least 1/10th of the amount of time I currently spend mindlessly staring at the "idiot box" I will only use my X-box for exercise, I will not game on my PC in any way. I will not use Facebook Apps, I will spend 30 minutes online. I will not chat online, you need to talk to me, I have a phone, you have my number... I did fine about 2 years ago when I did not have a Facebook, I can do fine again without it.

Now, I am not saying that casual gaming is bad, but I am past casual, and into reflexive. I play games without even thinking of gaming... I just do it before anything else. I spent almost 3/4ths of my money on games over the past 6 months... That bothers the hell out of me. So, until I develop different habits I quit. I may come back to gaming in the future, it is 1/2 the focus of my career after all, but I can only come back to this after I have found my way in my life without. I don't know if I have the will power to do this, and I will try my hardest to keep it up... as of now, I am removing all my current games, uninstalling them all... I'm going to see where this goes, and update as I can.

Wish me luck friends... even now I either keep adding clauses to this "Well I'll play Elderscrolls 5 obviously..." "I'll still play with my friends, like party games..." I won't none of those. I keep trying to convince myself that I should delete this and jump on TF2... I say fuck you impulses... I am the master of me... Today starts the new marker of my life, and the day I develop new habits. Goodbye gaming... Hello homework and responsibility.